Thanks for the reply, mods! I'm more than happy to answer those qs. :)
• How do you think John will learn to cope and fit in to an environment that relies largely on a sense of community and team effort, given his general stance on himself and others?
This is partially why I decided to app him with a CRAU where he's already had a bit of a learning curve with needing to rely on and help a community. Yet even with that experience under his belt he's still the same person who will stubbornly attempt to go it alone. However, John is not above recognizing that someone else may have a different skill set than he does and asking for help from the individual. I envision this being the way that he learns to come to terms with the environment: having one-on-one experiences with people and seeing them as individuals rather than liabilities.
• How does John reconcile his powerful self-hatred with his selfish will to survive?
This is something he wrestles with every day. Ultimately John sees himself as someone who has not yet atoned for his sins. This is what keeps him going even during his lowest of lows when he wants to give up and let the downward spiral swallow him whole. The important thing to note about him is that even when John allows himself to fall into the depths of his self-hatred, he will always tag himself back in to fight the good fight. It might be with a lot of complaining, but he does. For all his cynicism, John really does want to help the wider world.
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• How do you think John will learn to cope and fit in to an environment that relies largely on a sense of community and team effort, given his general stance on himself and others?
This is partially why I decided to app him with a CRAU where he's already had a bit of a learning curve with needing to rely on and help a community. Yet even with that experience under his belt he's still the same person who will stubbornly attempt to go it alone. However, John is not above recognizing that someone else may have a different skill set than he does and asking for help from the individual. I envision this being the way that he learns to come to terms with the environment: having one-on-one experiences with people and seeing them as individuals rather than liabilities.
• How does John reconcile his powerful self-hatred with his selfish will to survive?
This is something he wrestles with every day. Ultimately John sees himself as someone who has not yet atoned for his sins. This is what keeps him going even during his lowest of lows when he wants to give up and let the downward spiral swallow him whole. The important thing to note about him is that even when John allows himself to fall into the depths of his self-hatred, he will always tag himself back in to fight the good fight. It might be with a lot of complaining, but he does. For all his cynicism, John really does want to help the wider world.